January 27, 2000

I am so exhausted but I am going to force myself to do this. It takes three weeks to form a habit and I am almost there. My and Joanna went to classes as usual this morning. We had a quiz in Attic Tragedy. I think I did ok depending really on what he wanted. Then we went to the dining hall for lunch and we sat at the Greek table which is good because they are getting cliquey without us. We had kind of made plans to go out with Vicky but we went home and fell asleep instead. I think we would have both slept forever if the phone had not rung. OUr cell phone broke by the way which is a pain in the ass. So we went to out Greek class and Helen invited us to go out with them that night. We said we would go because we both know we need to hang out with them a little. Alex came by the house unexpectedly. We just sat around for a while. I totally did not feel like going out. I was still tired and I am having stomach issues. I keep on burping. No matter what I put in my mouth, I burp. Joanna ordered me to go and I did it as a return for her riding with Greg. I snuck in a half hour nap which surprisingly made me feel btter. We got dressed and hiked up to Helen's apartment. When we go there, she was not dressed. I was about to freak if we were not going to go anywhere. She had some bad news though. Anna's friend's,Vicky, little brother has cancer. But Helen got dressed up anyway and people started coming over. There were 13 of us at the end. It was a good group. We went to a club which was nice. We were dancing forever. We have reasons to believe that it was a gay bar from the number of two guy groups in there. I actually had one come up and try to take me away to dance but Joanna saved me. It was overall a good night. I would definitely like to hang out with these people more often. One thing was bad though. Joanna either lost her money or it was stolen. It would be terrible if someone from the group would do something like that. Anyway. I have plans for tomorrow and should sleep.

January 26, 2000

Today would have been another boring day but thank God me and Joanna took some initiative to change that. Classes were ok. Me and Joanna went and sat in the academic center and I had a dairy craving I needed something milky so badly that I skipped lunch and got a yogurt. Unfortunately I can't say that is something I will be doing too often. Anyway. After all our classes, we came home and did some homework. I took a nap at 7:30. That is two days in a row now. At least Joanna takes her naps at the same time the rest of the world does. But after that it was still early and neither of us could do more homework and we were afraid to go out because of the cold. I really felt like going out and just had to force myself to do it. So we called Vicky and made plans. We went by the house, grabbed some kebabs and headed to Dinks. I had a yummy yummy Baileys and we had oregano potato chips. We came home then and called it a night. I really needed to go out though, for the sake of my sanity. Me and JOanna were checking our lags today too and my two masses of Jello are actually pretty firm. 

January 25, 2000

Last night I think I was actually in a very deep sleep. I thing I am getting so exhausted that this will be happening often. Today was another extremely boring day. We went to our  morning classes like usual and I actually paid attention today. We considered going to the cafeteria for lunch but they had some beef vegetable soup so we ditched it. We found this good sandwich place called Orpheus that is a block away. I think we might become regulars. When we got home, I actually sat and did homework non-stop. It seems that when Joanna is sleeping it is the only time I am really productive. We went to our Greek class and I was totally crabby. I even told Joanna that I don't have her laughing at me when I fall. So in class this Peter guy showed up. I noticed him on some form because he lives in England and goes to Harvard. Today he mentioned he is from Santorini. Well, I think those all make the best combination but too bad he is fugly!! Nasty!! So when I got home, I fell asleep for an hour and then got a little more homework done. Once I catch up, I think I will be ok. Just come littles side notes... They fixed our refrigerator so maybe we can actually get some stuff now. There is this lady in our building that freaks me out. She sits in the hallway and reads the newspaper. She used to say hi when we would walk by but now she does not even do that. And I have only seem her coming up from the basement. It is really weird.

January 24, 2000

I woke up this morning after another night of horrible sleep. Possibly the worse one so far. I left for school on my own today because I wanted to go by the post office to send some letters. I felt so stupid because I do not know how their postal system works so she looked at me like I was retareded. We went to class and then we went and emailed a while. I got a note from Nadia today because she wanted to know if I wanted to translate something. It is volunteer and I already have too much works so I was kind of hesitant. But I am definitely flattered. Then I went by Vicky's for a while so Joanna can do something with her cousins. She confirmed that there is something unapproachable about "us". Anyway. Then we headed back to school for another class that I was totally falling asleep in. The minute I walked back into the house, I passed out for an hour. I really needed it if I was going to get any work don.e My attempt at homework failed. This stuff is so boring. First al all, I don't even have the plat I need for Attic Tragedy. Second, all of the readings are background information. I don't understand to what degree they want us to know all of this. Alex came by for a little while so she was a  good distraction. Me and Joanna made an attempt to go out and socialize with other students but we did not find any. So we sat at a cafe. I am surprised we had things to talk about. That was about all of my boring day. Joanna is asleep now and I am naturally once again failing miserably at being productive. I should mention about last night bow Barb told me there is a possibility she might not come to Greece or if she does, only for two weeks. This definitely causes a problem for me. If I am going to want to stay, I am going to have to be selfish and a bitch and just hope she understands.

January 23, 2000

Today was finally a relaxing day. I spent most of the morning alone doing homework because Joanna was sleeping. I really need to discipline myself because it is too easy to slack off. When Joanna finally woke up at 4:30, I stopped. We went out and walked around the area a little but everything was closed. I did find some shoes in case I don't find any anywhere else. We went back home and Anna camy by to pick me up. We went to Uncle Gus' house. Christina made her usual weight comment.s I t was a very boring visit. Then I went by Uncle Jim for a while. And that was the extent of my day. Now I am waiting for Babs to call and I might do more homework. We'll see.

January 23, 2000

Goodmorning Angie! Wow, did I have a blast last night. I felt as if I was living in one of Alex's letters. We went out for dinner where there were at least 40 people from the village there. Alex was great and introduced me to everyone and they were all so welcoming. I finally can tell you by name and face who Matt is (and he is a cutie), Chrissy, Ali (who looked like crap), Ryan (who Joanna thought was gorgeous but a dumb-ass and I agree 100% on the gorgeous part), Larry, Greg (the totally freaky hairdresser) and definitely more pople. So we ate a whole bunch of really good food and we danced. At the end everyone wanted to go out so we went to this club that was near by. There were 15 of us and Joanna was the only one not from the village. So we danced and had a blast until 6 in the morning. It was an ok Larry night. I went and sat next to him at some point during the dinner and we were talking but he was piss drunk. And then at the club we danced together a little bit. We have time to see what will happen but Kathy said he wants another girl. When it was time to go home me and Joanna had to go with George and Greg. I went with George so I definitely owe her a guy escape at some point. The motorcycle was a blast and I guess I broke another school rule. Oh well.

January 22, 2000 Part 2

So it is way later of a very long day but I shall continue. There was a knock at our door and this man was standing there with Sharkie. He is the dentist from next door and he wanted to complain about the noise. We apologized and everything and he just kept going. He said next time he is not going to know on our door, he is just going to call the police direactly. He said that he was gone to the DA about the abroad students in the building. Finally the guy left and so did everyone else and of course Alex said a few words to him. When everyone was gone me and Joanna went to talk to Sharkie and she was a total bitch who practically shut the door in our face. Today we mentioned to Popi what happened and she said not to worry about it. She thinks that he was just trying to scare us because he had problems with the two boys who lived here before us. They were total drunks who knocked on his door and said fuck you at the end of the year. Anyway, they are going to talk to him and they said he cannot call the cops. So after a fun day, we finally went to bed. This morning we rolled out of bed to go to this brunch thing and found out when we got there that it was optional or at least we could have gone later. So we sat there forever and listed to some lady give the most boring speech. Then we took a nice double decker bus around Athens while I took a nap. Then we got dropped off and walked around and saw the most gorgeous views of Athens. We climbed to the top of a rock. I was wearing the worse shoes and practically killed myself. And i twas shit cold and wind outside. Then we walked towards Plaka. We stopped and had coffee at the place me and Babs had gone to with Angela last tiem. I was feeding the cat and Joanna was getting annoyed but she should get used to it. Finally it was time to head home. Me Joanna and Sandy started walking and we practically died of cold. We had been outside for over 3 hours. Joanna went to her aunts house and I got in my bed to defrost and sleep. Now I need to start getting ready because we are going to a party today for one of the guys from the village.

January 22, 2000

So last night turned out nothing like I expected!! I had by first ultimate Greek night out since I have been ehre. They came to pick me up pretty late. Alex then convinced Larry to take us to 222. Larry is a cutie and very nice. Drives like a total psychopath but that is fine. So we hung out there for a while. Nothing special. George made this really really good drink in a pitcher and put about 50 straws in it and was passing it around. It was delicious. When we left from there we went to this club that Larry knew. It was a nice place. They had a totally random music selection. From oldies to club music to Greek music and even Cretan music. I loved it. Larry and I started talking and it was kind of flirtish. We had both ordered the same drink (color drink) and I took his on accident and I really liked it and he insisted that we switch. It was a Martini with Sprite. Forget the vodka stuff. George came a little later on too. We sat around there till about 4 in the morning. Me, Kathy and Larry left and came back to our place and Alex was going to meet us there. They came and Joanna was home so we had a tiny little party.

January 21, 2000

I had another bad night. I have been her for a two weeks and I still have not slept through an entire night. I don't know what is wrong with me. And of course we have an alarm clock that moves fast so it rang early and I had to reset it about 3 times. 

Today we had our Byzantine Art class from 9:00-10:30. I have absolutely no interest in the subject and the teacher is not too interesting. We headed home afterwards and I wen tot the bank to change some money. The first one I went into had a line out the door and I stood there for 10 minutes without moving an inch. So then I went to one closer to my apartment but they only took cash, not my traveller's checks. Alex came by our house then She is our first guest!! We walked downtown and browsed at the stores. I am looking for shoes but cannot seem to find any. Then we went to Goody's for lunch and I ate a bunch of good salads. From there we walked through Plaka to get to school. We had Macedon and 4th Century BC History from 3:00-4:30. I actually want to try to learn something in this class. After class we were supposed to go and wait for Joanna's aunt to bring us the sutff. She came to the school one hour after class got out. It was such a waste of time and Joanna was so impatient. But we got a ride back home. Joanna went tot heir house for a while and I stayed come and cleaned cleaned cleaned. We finally have things in order. And I went to the paper store on the corner and bought the cutest careds. I realized when I got home that they were not in the bag and I don't think I paid for them, but I think I am going to go there and try to get them from him anyway. Joanna came home with bags full of junk food and my stuff from Babs. I ate a yummy Rice Krispies and my Fuji apple. I totally enjoyed it. Joanna went out with her cousins and I am waiting for Alex, Kathy and Dino to come and we are going to go to a movie. As I was sitting here waiting, Raina called. She is such a sweetie. I totally would love to sit and talk to her about all our stupids things but I have a long time for that. Dina just called and they just left home so I guess I have time to kill.

January 20, 2000

This morning we had a few random wake up rings and I had a few panic attacks before we woke up to Scatman on Joanna's phone. We got ready for school pretty early so I think we have the bathroom thing down pat. And of course today I sat in classes again after two whole months. My first class was  from 9-10:30 at it was Attic Tragedy. The teacher was extremely boring and monotonous and he assigned tons fo work. The classroom we were in was soooo cold we sat with our gloves on the whole time. Then from 11:15-12:45 we had Art and Archeology. The teacher seems very cool and there are a lot of class trips planned so it seems exciting. He told us a funny story about his son where he was lining his toy cars along the fireplace and he parked them with two wheels on the marble and two wheels off. After class we went and emailed a whole bunch which was nice but really hard because you don't know exactly what to say to who. We then went for lunch at the dining hall for the first time and they give so much good food. We were expecting Joanna's luggage to come that afternoon so we had to sit around the apartment and wait for htem. It was good though because I got a lot of things done. We had one more lass them from 6:30-8 in Modern Greek. This class is definitely going to be a joake. There are 5 of us in there and 4 of us are what you would consider fluent. I think the teacher was shocked at some of the things I knew. We went back tot he apartment and maybe Joanna's aunt was going to come and blah blah blah, but nothing. So we went to Gus' for kabobs and they are still "wonderful". Afterwards we went to Dinks for the usual nightly drink with Vicky. At night we actually got to take a cab home because I finally got my luggage from Eva. Thank God because I have terrible shin splings. The cab fare was 515 and he told me 700. I only had 1000 on me and the bastard had the nerve to tell me that he had absolutely no change on him. And me and Joanna could not come up with it any other way so we let him keep it. I am not ready to argue with anyone yet. Oh and I found the cutest stationary store by our house which I think I am going to end up wasting a lot of money at. 

January 19, 2000

Today was an interesting day. It started out very strangely. The phone rang and we thought it was our wake up call but thank goodness it was not because I was not going to get out of bed. It was actually pouring rain too so I because thinking if I was going to go on my walking tour. I totally rolled out of bed and went. I did not learn much but I was some cool places and it was beautiful. When I went back home, I actually got myself ready and woke up Joanna too. I was really not in the mood to do anything. I even skipped my acculturization meeting. Oh well. But we went down tot the school to do some stuff and we got stuck there forever. Joanna's luggage came too which was good but the problem was getting it back tot he apartments since the cabs were on strike again and Pete could not drive into the city. We got our ugly blue cell phone too. Of course we made some phone calls to pass out our number. I called Raina too so she would not be upset with me. I saw her in my dream last night. We had people at our house and I was looking at Raina. I turned around and saw another Raina. So I started yelling at her and telling her she could not replace Raina. And I was trying to beat her up but she knew some karate tricks. Only me. 

There was a car parked by the phone that was a Honda Legend. It has the Honda symbol but it was a Legend. Very strange. So we headed back tot he apartments and then we went to the supermarket with the little yellow man on it. By then it was already time for our diner. My table was small and the teachers were kind of searious. The food was actually delicious though. For afterwards, we made plans with Joanna's cousins . We went by the restaurant to see Gus first and then by the house to see Vicky. Her cousins Sophia and Pat where very nice. We went to Insomnia for drink with their friends. There was this totally hot guy at the door and Sophia told us he was the owner and a model. Yes, I could tell. As we were going, Patty told us some directions and we kind of went and then I figured out where we ere! I actually made a connection between streets!!! So we got home and that was that. 

Yesterday I learned some interesting facts. Greece has the highest smoking percentage and also the lowest suicide rate. I got my first letter today from Sue and she said Young is pregnant!

January 18, 2000

Today was exhausting. I ended up waking myself up on time in the morning but then I convinced myself that I could sleep more. When I finally did get up, I had to convince myself to take a shower and when I finally did, I realized that there was no hot water. So I made my way down to the school and had ot wait to get registered. My schedule is nice because somedays I have mornings off and some days I have afternoons but I need to be there at 9:00 am every days which I know will be a problem. They gave us our books too which we do not need to pay for after all except for our Greek book which is 11,000. But there are so many of them. I grabbed half of them and went hiking to the apartment. T hen I grabbed my school bag, went back to the school and back to the apartments. I totally collapsed! I stopped at the little grocery store too and got some fat free yogurt which was pretty good. My attempt to make oatmeal failed because I could not wait around for water to boil on that stove. And our refrigerator is turning everything into ice. Then I actually made my way over to Vicky on foot which was weird and confusing but I found the way so I am very excited. I sat there for a while. I called Eva too and it does not seem like I will be getting my luggage any time soon. We had to meet at the school at 6:30 and they had an introduction and questions session. Nadia told me in the middle of it that Joanna came. She had a horrible flight and her luggage is not here yet. Then we went for our dinner at a restaurant. The food was ok. We were in Rea's group and she is just really nice but then again, they all are. We left kind of early because Joanna was exhausted. When we reached the apartment, we did a bunch of furniture rearranging then we just bummed. Raina wrote me a really sad note. She keeps thinking that she is going to be replaced, but she is right when she ways there is only one Raina. Two random things - all the cabs were on strike today. It was weird being in Athens with no cabs but I did not notice until someone pointed it out. On a wall was written "Klinton go home".

January 17, 2000 Part 2

I am alone in my apartment right now and I don't know what to do. I am going to bed soon because I cannot oversleep tomorrow and I do not have a phone where I can be reached. This has been pretty exciting so far. Uncle Jim ended up driving me to the school so I was not forced to go crazy with cabs. They gave us some information when we got there like the fact  that me and Joanna have our own apartment. I think that is so cool. We can have whoever we want over and we can keep music on and it will be fun. The only bad thing is that we are not forced to talk to other people. Everyone else is make friends right now and I am not. I'm sure I will feel differently about this as soon as Joanna is actually here. I had to wait for about two hours to get driven to the apartedment. We were watching Big Lebowski but no one was really talking. Finally Pete, a cutie, drove me to the apartment.

I think it is just adorable. T here are two bedrooms, a small kitchen and a nice bathroom. One room has two beds, two desks and two chests. The other one has a bed, a desk and Greek style closets. Then in the hallway there is i a couch, a dresser and shelves. The bathroom has a butt cleaning thing and a shower curtain and very nice ledge for shampoo that I always look for. What i would like to do is make one room our bedroom and one a living room. I guess since there is not roommate, no one can escape in the case of a fight anyway. And it is actually warm in here. 

So afterwards I walked up and down a few blocks alone. I found a kiosk and pay phone. There is a post office around the corner and a Kosta Boda shop too. We had to meet at the school for orientation and I did not want to walk alone. I went and rang the doorbell of the girls upstairs. They seem nice. Then I walked with the girls from next door to the Academic Center. It is not far al all. All the girls are very nice. So we did the mingling thing. I know I won't remember any names tomorrow. We snuck into the building next door and emailed a little. I need to go back there so I can communicate with the people I love and miss so much. I was typing on a keyboard that had no English letters. It was pretty funny. And that was the end. 

Something new has been added to the Uncle George mstery. He has not gone back home. He is still somewhere in athens but I don't know wehre. Who knows? 

And just to add about the apartments, they gave us plates and silverware and there are three basic pots and pans, a strainer, a cheese grater and a cutting board. I have a feeling though that we are not going to be cooking much because our oven is microscopic.

January 17, 2000

I have not written for two days now and that is party because I have not had the opportunity and partly because I have not been in the best of moods until last night. I spent all of Saturday in Preveza too even though I really did not want to. But that does not seem to be an issue. I wanted to spend the day with George and his family so in the morning we went for coffee and Vefa picked me up from there. We went to Prevere, me, Natasha, Alec, Kosti and then Renee, Vefa and Christ came. Rumor has it that Chris smokes because someone gave him a lighter for his birthday but he acted as if he had no clue what to do with it. Some 12 year old boy in the village had cigarettes too and he offered some to Uncle Jim and no one was fazed. Anyway, after that we went to George's house and spent the day there. Chris drove us crazy with his music. The asked me the usual one million questions they ask including the boyfriend thing. They had all made plans to go out that night and I had made plans with Natasha so they drove me to her house. Vefa got all dressed up and went out with George which surprised me. Natasha had some friends over that Alec had gotten into a fight over backgammon with them. Vicky came too. We eventually got all dressed up, took Kosti to his Grandmas and went out. Two things worth mentioning. Alec does not like Geoge and Vefa at all. And Natasha has kiwis growing in her back yard. First we went to Ammo for drinks. We were not sure were to go from there but then Natasha hear that a friend of hers was singing at a club so we went there. I thought the place was very nice and the music was very good. Unfortunately, I was not in the mood for it because I was tired and annoyed. I feel bad because they think I did not have fun but I liked it. It was a necessary experience. I slept at George;s house that night so he can give me a ride to the bus the next morning. I got home at 4am which was another thing I felt bad about and was worried about while I was out. And I made a huge loud noise bot George said no one herd it. E ended up lucking out on the bus ride because Uncle Jim and Aunt Adi were going to Athens too. We picked up Aunt Adi's brother too. He kind of made the car smell weird and he talked really loud. I slept the entire car ride home and have a bruise on my head to prove it. And my feet totally fell asleep the whole time.

Anna was the only one home because Angela went out with Nick. I called my house and got really sad. My sister got into dental school so I am really happy for her. They were going to Maggiano's to celebrate. I talked to Mom and Daddy too. I do miss them. Me and Anna went to Aunt Nan's house then. Aunt Nan looks really good. She reminds me a lot of mom now, a lot. Uncle Tom did his usual lecturing which is kind of boring. Before I continue, it is Uncle Jim's birthday and Aunt Kathy gave me 5,000 drachmas. Anna left after a while and we felt bad for not inviting her with us. We were going out with George though and did not have room in the car. We played with their makeup and Dina fixed me hair. George came at about 11 and I fell asleep waiting for him. We went to Hagen Daaz for ice cream. Then we went to this bowling alley and played video games, more like knowledge games and air hockey. I was a lot of fun!! When we were out side we did this love test. Me, Alex and Dina all have a lot to learn and Kathy and George scored that they don't know how to present themselves. George got a 5. So I ended up really liking George. He was kind of quiet but Alex said that was mostly because he was tired. He has really nice eyes too. I can see what she sees in him and how she let him do that. He was given her a huge huge teddy bear. So we went to sleep finally. But i really lifted my mood. 

This morning me and Alex took the bus downtown. From there I took another bus on my own to Angela's house and I walk from the stop. Very easy and very proud of myself. Now I am ready to go go school. I took the best shower today. I was home alone for a while so I got comfy. Now things are going to change. I am really looking forward to having some sort of order. That is the one thing I need right now.

January 14, 2000

Not much has happened since the last time I wrote. I came to Natasha's house and have not left since then. Kosti has been the main attractioni. He is definitely a cutie but I do not have that much patience for two year old. He knows how to say my name. He looks the same as he did when he was a baby and opens his mouth the same cute way. The best though is when he dances like crazy when he hears Mambo #5. Today I think I learned the trick to taking showers... wash your hair and body at different times. 

January 13, 2000

So last night I had the typical "can you please leave me alone" experience in the village. Aunt Kathy had to comment on absolutely everything. Why don't I wear jewelry? Why do I put my hair behind me ears? Why did I not bring heavier clothes with me? They don't understand that it is not cold for me. And of course she cannot let go of the weight thing. She keeps telling me I need to eat breakfast and ignores me when I say it is the one meal I do eat. Anyway, I must comment again on how great the village smells. I wish I could just sit outside and enjoy the view even though it is so lonely. I went to see Uncle Pete. They are both as good and as cute as every. John came with me too which was good because he can make anyone laugh. He has quickly put himself on my good cousin list. Then we spent the rest of the night at Aunt Kathy's house where I was force fed pizza. I understand that I may need to put on a few pounds but I fell sick from all the food. Here is something weird... they have a computer in their house. I should also mention that Patty was there and was luckily helping me out a little bit.

Funny Grandma story, there is this girl from the village that plays on a Greek soap opera. That alone I think is strange enough. But her Grandma dies the other day and the whole village when to the funeral. Well Grandma saw the actress on television wearing orange and she was trying to make excuses as to why that was ok. That was the end of the night. I love the village but some things need to change. Aunt Adi made my bead by the fire with three blankets and I froze my ass off. I wake up and by butt hurts because I am so tense at night. And I had to pee but who was going to get up!

This morning I woke up to the wonderful face of Grandma's sister. Everyone keeps telling me how much I look like mom now. I got up and sat by the fire because I dreaded getting dressed. Aunt Adi was roasting hazelnuts and forcing me to eat. I went up to Aunt Kathy and had a nice surprise on the way up. I ran into Alec and yeah, I still want him. My sweetheart of a cousin drove me to Uncle Pete's house and then by Aunt Denise. He made some comments about how lonely it is. I think I am going to talk to Gus about letting him use the house. And of course as I was leaving he slipped 10,000 in my pocket. So far I have made way more than I have spent. 

Me and John kind of had a bonding talk. I asked him about Judy which kind of shocked him. She is in Halki now. She has lived in Greece for 13 years and they have been together for 5. John was telling  me how he is kind of confused with his life because he like the simplicity of it but knows that he has not future. He said the sweetest thing about Judy though. He said that for the past five years he is so carefree that he has not worn a watch. 

I had then made plans to meet cousin George to take me to Prebeza. I went and said by to Grandma. On the way there we stopped to see Barbara. Vefa, Renne and Chris were all at the house. Renee has a totally boy haircut and looks totally cute and Chris is turning into a studly little guy. I washed myself and changed because I was crappy for the last two days. We dropped the kind of at class and me and Vefa went to see Helen. I ate candied eggplant. Freaky sounding but actually very good. Mimi is as good as I though he was. He is going to be in Athens next week so maybe I'll see him. Now we are back at home and sitting in front of the fire catching up. I know there was more I wanted to write so I might fill in later.

January 12, 2000

Well, last night did not finish off right here. As soon as I got into bed, Angela came home. We started our usual talking and must not have gone to sleep till 5am. She wants to go out for coffee so we can talk about things, Nick in particular. I am really glad she is being so open about her personal life. She also told me how her and Anna smoke because they could not keep it hidden for so long. She showed me a picture of Lee, Anna's guy from the summer and he is just plan old hot!

Right now I am sitting by the fireplace watching music videos. We got here from Athens at about 2. I really did not feel much because I slept more of the way. I met John this morning. He is very nice and funny. He looks just like Mattie. The whole car ride he let me keep his leather jacket on my legs. It was very pretty driving here. There are oranges growing everyone, that is the fruit right now. Another strange thing was while we were on the ferry, we did not get out of the car. The best thing though was as we were approaching the village, I could smell the fireplaces. The weather here is gorgeous. I was walking outside without a jacket. Inside is a different story. I got out of the shower and smoke was coming out of my mouth. I don't think my legs are getting shaved for months. Aunt Adi was waiting for us. She is missing a front tooth because it broke with she was eating. We went to see Grandma and it broke my heart. She did not look good at all. I am hoping it is just because she has been sick. She told me to forget school and move to the village I saw a picture of Jim's babies and they are adorable.  Here is something funny I heard today, people in Greece think that computers may have problems with leap year this year so they are going to skip it. Do they really think you can just skip a day. What, is February of next year going to have 30 days? I also made two big accomplishments worth noting 1) Yesterday the taxi dropped me off two blocks away from Vicky's house and I knew where I was but did not know which direction to go in but I asked and found it. 2) Today I had a thought in Greek! 

January 11, 2000

Just to continue from yesterday, as I was getting off the plane I started talking ot the Greek guy again. He was a sweetie. He was only going to be in Greece for one week though so I did not think it was worth it to really try for anything. So I got to the luggage carousel and I found my box sitting in the middle of the airport. And then I had the problem of finding a cart. Besides the fact that there were none around, I could not leave my box. This couple kind of helped by watching my stuff. I was worried but I had to do it. After one hour, I got one. Uncle Jim, Vicky, Dina and Kathy were all at the airport. Kathy look beautiful. Everyone else was the same. As soon as we got to the house, Angela came and Alex was already there. The other girls left though. We sat and talked. But I was so tired and the minute I got into bed, I passed out.

Today I woke up way later than I wanted to and I even wanted to sleep more. I took a horrible shower. It is so cold. I don't know how to keep warm when I shampoo my hair. Uncle Jim did get a shower curtain though! Outside the weather is great. Every else is freezing and I can actually sit outside. I went to Fregio and sat with Vicky and then we went by the house to eat. We made a stop by Maria too so Vicky could show me off. On our way upstairs we ran into Paul. It was an awkward hello but whatever. I saw Aunt Adri and Bill and they were exactly the same. I saw pictures of Kosti too and I can't wait to meet him. They remodeled their bathroom and Vicky switched rooms and they have a computer. Gus came home them. He is having tooth problems which is good because he is talking to his dentist about Babs. I ended up sleeping again. I forced myself up but I could sleep forever. I went by Vicky and I drank my first ever NesCafe. I really liked it. I also had my first cheesepie today from the place by Gus'.

I called Sofia and she came by and we went for kebabs. When we went back to Vicky, she gave her a necklace and she gave me the cool double watch. All that besides the money Gus gave me before. But this definitely needs to stop. Me and Sofia both agreed that the girls have nice jackets and that it is time to get rid of the yellow boots. I saw my Fossil watch for 27,000 drachmas. Crazy! So at one point Vicky mentioned something about Babs and I have not stopped thinking about her. I called Joanna to make me feel a little better but it really only made it worse. There is just so many stupid things that I know I will never comment to her about even though I really want to. I am going to let her read this I think. So then I made plans with Anna to meet at Dinks. We invited Christina and the other girls too but no one else came. Angela was being vague and I found out later it was because she was with her boyfriend. His name is Nick and he goes to school in Italy. They have been together two months and he is a secret. After Fregio we went by the restaurant and Vicky got stuck behind the register so I was standing in the back. I saw Dino and we talked more than we ever have. I would like to get to know him. Gus business looked ok. He lost Greg so he is shorthanded. He added gyro and chicken gyro and regular chicken to the menu. I finally go to Dinks and I had my mule. I spent most of the time thinking about Babs. Me and Anna went to Goodys and then came home. I talk to Babs and mom so I am better now. I need to go to sleep because I need to wake up in 3 hours. I am going to the village with Uncle Jim and John. I am kind of excited about that. But I think I am going to spend most of my time in Preveza because everyone is sick in the village. Overall though, it was a great first day!

January 9/10th, 2000

So I am sitting here alone on the plane and I am not half as scared or as bored as I thought I would be I just woke up from a pretty good nap and now I am getting excited. There is an empty seat between me and the guy next to me so we are both sitting comfortably. This plane is by far the best one I have ever been on. The head rest is curved so you can lay to the side without having to hold the pillow up to your head. And then each seat has its own television with 12 different stations and two different show times. The magazine said The Sixth Sense was playing but they played Thomas Crown Afar instead and I did not want to see that. I started watching Double Jeopardy and that is when I fell asleep. Each seat has a digital remote control too for the television and radio and lights and stuff and then you flip it over and it is a phone. And the little table has a separate cup holder. I am definitely travelling in style. The food I could do without though. They had this potato salad that looked good but it that shrimp in it and I was not taking any chances and there was a pasta with marinara sauce, ground beef, spinach, ricotta cheese and mozzarella cheese and all of these together is a little too much. But they did have chocolate cheesecake! I did not end up having a drink like Rania was telling me too. There is a cute steward and he reminded me of someone but I will never figure out who. And I should probably note that I got hit on my the first guy already. I noticed him totally staring as I was walking on to the plane. Then when I went to the bathroom he saw me and when I came out of the bathroom he was standing there and he apologized for nothing and was asking if the flight was ok. Then he stood there until he saw where I was sitting. Enough about the plane though. It is bright out now and you can see the land.

At the airport earlier today it was just the family and Rania and Joanna, everyone I wanted there and no one extra. We all cried, even dad. I never really understood what I was doing and I still really don't so I was ok. In a way, it worked out better like that. I think I am both happy and sad and I don't know which one to show. But from here on, I need to be excited because I will spoil this if I am upset all the time. We saw Amber at the airport too. It was weird and cold. She is engaged and a dropout but that is no big surprise. If I keep writing like this, I will need more journals...

Ok so I am always flying British from now on. Heathrow airport was awesome. People always talk about duty free shops but I had never really seen so many. I found the nicest Christian Dior perfume "Dioever" which is exclusive to four airports. I could have spent endless hours there. And I did go to Harrod's and I even bought Babs a pencil (for $5). I figured I could not go to England and not get my sister somehting. When we were on the bus going from the plane tot he airport, we were driving down this little street and suddenly three buses came zooming from the right. I thought the people were crazy and then it clicked... I was in Englad. So of course I got really excited and started looking for all the cars. Now I am on the second plane and we are going to land in half an hour. He just said it was 11 degree C in Greece!!! This has been an ok flight. We got some yummy balsamic pretzels. There is this cute guy on it that I noticed in Chicago. And we are sitting in the same section of three but there is an English guy between us. I did talk to him though which is great for me. We bonded over the cool TV's on the other plane.The English guy is pretty cool too. He works in Macedonia but I had some problems understanding him. I did have one small problem with this airline though when they made me check in my carry on. They actually took a big load off but that bag is so valuable I don't know what I would do if they lost it. Well the only thing left to do now is get to Greece. This is the first time I can ever remember where I am not jumping in my seat. 

Fourteen Years Later

"Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy." - Brene Brown

 Fourteen years ago tomorrow, I embarked on what I thought was going to be an adventure of a lifetime. I was going abroad to to study in Greece for six months, a country in which I had spent many summers and had countless great memories and a lot of wonderful family. Every ounce of me was ready for this trip. This was the first time I would not be living under my parents roof, I would be surrounded by new people and new opportunities. In my mind, this was my opportunity to discover life and to discover myself.

Unfortunately, I had started losing myself even before I ever boarded the plane. For a year or two prior to this, I was on a slow but slippery slope to anorexia. When I arrived in Greece, instead of finding myself, I lost the last of everything and everyone I could relate too and turned to the one thing that was still with me, my eating disorder.

Five months and 40 pounds later, my mom and sister came to bring me home. They saved me even though at that time, I don't know if I really wanted to be saved. I went through the motions of recovery but as I sit here writing this, I know I am not recovered. I buried my past, pushed through, worked hard and accomplished everything I had envisioned for my life - school, good job, husband, house, beautiful kids, etc. But even with all this, I still feel like a piece of me is missing. And I know this piece of me is the piece I hide deep inside yet is present in everything I do and everything I am.

The upcoming posts will be me writing out the journal I kept throughout those five months. The journal I put in a closet when I came home and have not opened up since. This writing was filtered because I was scared of anyone ever realizing what was really going on in my thoughts. Throughout this process, I am going to try to tap into some of the unwritten thoughts and feelings. My hope is that by owning my story and speaking my shame, I can truly put the past behind me.